Officially,aku lum lagi clash dengan die…sebenarnye aku pun tak tau kat ne dia ni skang…he doesn’t call me,he doesn’t inform me where is he now…tapi pada aku,there is nothing between us.antara aku dengan die sekarang setakat kawan biasa…kenapa aku buat decision camni?
There is so many reasons that I shouldn’t get along with him…everything is very obvious…he doesn’t love me anymore…he doesn’t need me…kalau betul dia sayangkan aku,dia takkan buat camni kat aku…I’m tired of being lonely…I’m tired pretending that I’m happy with this…acctually,I’m very suffering…every minute,every second,I keep thinking of him…but I know,he never think of me…
Aku pun dah penat nak terhegeh-hegeh kat die…everytime that I called him,he seems bored with me…kadang-kadang tu,kiteroang tak cakap ape-ape pun…aku bukannye ape,as his girlfriend,I just want to make sure that he in the right condition…I love him and I want him always be cared and safe…I know that he can take care of himself but he’s not in front of my eyes…kalau dia ade depan mata aku,aku tak yah la susah nak call dia atau pun suruh dia call aku…
Actually,sebelum ni pun dah banyak hint yang die bagi aku,tapi aku ignorekan hint tu sebab aku percaya there must be a reason why he doing this to me…before this,aku ade gak bincang ngan die…I asked him why he doing this and honestly…I’m not really satisfied with his reasons…walau camane pun,I gave him a second chance…itu pun die yang mintak…aku tak nak die cakap aku zalim…tinggalkan die time die susah…but now,he himself the destroyed the chance…so no more chances after this…whatever he want to say,but I keep standing on my decision…he can say that I’m cruel or whatever but I can’t be fooled…he can say that I’m a selfish and I admit it!I’m a selfish girl……kalau aku tak pentingkan diri aku sendiri,then who would be?
He sold his phone number to his friend last week…at this point, I really believe that he really want to leave me….and he doesn’t want any connection with me…ok..i can accept that…but ape yang aku tak puas ati kat sini,why he doesn’t be honest with me?why he doesn’t talk to me and said he doesn’t interested into me anymore?is it difficult being honest?why he is running away from me?I keep waiting a call from him,to explain what had happened to him…but again…hope is hope…I have to accept the truth that he already forget me!ok…you lost him…
I’m getting tired of crying…somestimes I wondering,why should I cry for a man who doesn’t care about me?why should I cry for a man who doesn’t love me?I waste my tears for a man who never understand me…actually I hate crying,but I don’t know how I want to release my sadness beside crying…
Again,I was frustrated by a man…I feel so stupid!I’m not supposed to fall in love with him…I shouldn’t believe him…and I shouldn’t let him take advantages on me…but it’s already late…he left me without any explaination and from today,I declare that Ija is dead!no more love from man…men area liar!lelaki tak sepatutnye bercinta sebab they all tak tau nak bercinta…lagipun they never sincere with love…they never honest with love…apa yang dieorang tau,love is just for a physical needed…dan aku harap lelaki-lelaki camni takkan dapat kebahagiaan sepanjang hidup dieorang….i wish that they all suffer in the rest of their life…
Actually,I rather failed in love relationship…I can’t stand if I failed in my life…right now,my life quite good in all ways except love…I don’t mind if a lost a man that I love but I can’t take it if I lost my family…never!whatever it is…my family is the best!
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